I might be crazy........

Visited Tower Bridge in London.

Pointed out to the guide it should be called Towers Bridge because there's more than one. He ignored me. But this German couple nodded their heads in agreement. I'm beginning to like the Germans again.

We made our way to Covent Gardens. Lots of shops and street performers, all of which ... were not interesting to me..

Went on a ghost walking tour. Our guide claimed members from previous tours were abducted while on this tour. I wasn't that worried because we had two old women using walkers in our group. I figure if anything was going to happen it would happen to them first.

Went to Stratford Upon Avon. Hometown of that Shakespeare guy.

Came up with this joke, "What do you call annoying women from Stratford? - Avon Ladies!"

My wife gave me that "we just got here and already you're annoying me" look. But I think deep down inside she thought it was hilarious.

Overheard some teenagers questioning each other about Shakespeare's plays. They could name the popular ones but not the lesser known ones. I told them some of the lesser known ones were Oedipus, Death of a Salesman and Rent. They started slowly moving away from me. Thats probably because they couldn't handle my intellectual genius ........ those Germans .....

Rented a canoe to travel on the river Avon. Had to wait for one. They only had row boats but I don't do row boats. I kick ass in a canoe. Slap an outrigger on it and I'm unstoppable!

If you travel by rail, travel first class. Time just flies by when you're comfortable. I like helping out the guy who checks your ticket by pointing out people who may not belong in first class. Usually its those Euro-trash teenagers. They're easy to spot because they have those huge backpacks. We can't have those riff-raffs mingling with the upper class elites such as myself and my wife .... although from her previous reactions to my comments maybe she should be placed in standard class like the rest of them ......

Flew from Dublin to London.

Cab driver told me whiskey was nicknamed "Mad Man Soup" in Ireland.

Also found out they might strike because of new rules concerning fares and airport fees that doesn't include a pay raise. He seemed upset about it. My take is that it'll mean cheaper fares for the passengers. I didn't want to tell him that because he looked like one of those skinheads (a huge skinhead) packed with tattoos and more importantly he looked like he could kick my ass. On the positive side I may have found the perfect guy for Wendy.

Arrived in Heathrow. I swear we must've walked a couple of miles to get to the luggage claim area. Actually they refer to it as reclaim.

Found the Chinatown area in Central London. Felt like home there ....

Went to see Les Misrables. People dress up for shows here. So I had to also. I figure what better time to show off my new Hawaiian shirt!

Although its funny how the title of the show describes my feelings while watching the darn thing.......

Walked into the Irish Parliament building. Thought it was a museum. That was until armed guards ushered me out. They shouldn't make the Parliament building look so much like a museum - all old and "museum" like.

Went to the archaeology and history museum. Thought it was the natural history museum. Learned a lot of old stuff can last a long time if you put it under glass. Oh and with a thermometer in it.

Found the natural history museum. Walked around the entire block to find it. Not much of a museum. Lots of stuffed birds and fish. Only went in because it was free and it didn't look like the Parliament building.

Went to the post office. It didn't look like the Parliament building either. They don't sell boxes or packages or stationary - just stamps. But man were they fast!

Went to Temple Bar again. It didn't look like the Parliament building also. Ate a Boxty - some bland pancake made of potato. Not bad if you smother it with a lot of sauce. And some more sauce. Also had a pint of Murphy's stout - damn good stuff.

In conclusion don't walk into any building that looks like a Parliament building.

No one in Ireland accepts travelers cheques. Its a conspiracy by the credit card company. You either have to carry a lot of cash around or use a credit card where you'll be charged a conversion fee. Bastards!

Went to the Jameson Distillery. Learned Irish whiskey was the best only because our guide kept mentioning it at every stop. All 8 stops!

Participated in a taste test at the end of the tour. Accidentally drank the 3 samples completely when we were supposed to just take a sip. Everyone laughed. Even the Germans. Eventually got refilled and picked the Irish whiskey over the American and Scottish brands. Got a diploma for it. Only in Ireland.

Noticed there's no Pepsi commercials - just Coke.

Viewed the Book of Kells. An ancient text scribed by monks. Made me glad we have Kinkos ..... and bond paper .....

Watched a football match at the pub. Couldn't tell who was playing because the players jerseys were dominated by the name of their sponsors instead of the team name. Anyway SIEMENS beat TOYOTA 3-0.

Noticed two distinct types of tourists to Dublin: Hippie Euro Trash Students and Fat Retired Americans. Ones disgusting and the other's demanding. You figure out which is which.

Before the flight from Shannon to Dublin, security confiscated a bottle of bleach from a women. Not a small bottle, a BIG bottle. Obviously there's no bleach in Dublin.

After arrival in Dublin it took a while for our baggage to arrive. Someone said they were inspecting it. Shouldn't you inspect the baggage BEFORE the flight takes place ....

In Dublin, kept getting lost. City planners must've been drunk while laying out the city. I'm beginning to think thats the case. Interestingly enough we kept ending up at the Guinness Brewery ......

Big Gaelic football match in Dublin. Asked if it was anything like American football. Locals told me its better and that American football was slow. I thought "Gee, just like your thinking process .."

Drove to Ennis.

Childishly keep calling it P. Ennis.

Just laughed when I typed that last line!

Bog land smells like a landfill or teenage Europeans.

Dogs walk themselves and attack moving cars.

Discovered my favorite t.v. show EVER - "BADLY DUBBED PORN" on the Paramount Comedy Channel! I think the title speaks for itself!

Visited the Clare museum. Learned Europeans smell. I'm beginning to think all European countries have a bathing optional policy!

Had my first traditional Irish breakfast: meat, meat, more meat and a tomato which is probably considered the side salad.

Visited Ross Castle.

Learned about medieval form of dry cleaning: just place your clothes next to the shit heap - brilliant.

People keep staring at us. I can't speak for my wife but I think its because of my exotic good looks - what else could it be!

I saw this one Japanese girl dressed like a Harajuku girl. Thought now the locals have someone else to stare and whisper among themselves at.

Noticed Germans are loud.

Noticed the French are loud.

Noticed the Spanish are loud.

Concluded its because they're all white.

My wife had another conclusion - that I'm an idiot.

Drove through several small towns on the Dingle peninsula.

A tourist asked me about a local berry on the side of the road. I said it was a "dingle berry" and laughed. She didn't think it was funny. Germans .....

Everything started looking the same - GREEN!

Made up a new game at in these smaller towns: Find the Asian and spot the Blacks. So far zero points.

Saw a lot of sheep. Accidentally started counting them. Started to fall asleep. That crap really works ....

Their MTV channel has a person on the lower right signing to each video. I didn't know you could do that. For some reason I understood the video better.

The town of Kilorglin has a festival that makes a sheep king of the town for a few days. I thought that was stupid, until I realized we made an idiot our President (sorry Bobbie)

Drove to Killarney.

Noticed several towns starting with the letters K,I,L and L. Beginning to think the Irish are a blood thirsty people.

Got used to driving on the left hand side of the road. Not used to the washer and turn signals on opposite sides. You'll know when I'm making a turn because the wipers will go on. Fast for left, slow for right.

Drinking is big here. So is singing. Wendy would be 50% at home here. 100% if she knew how to sing.

Thought all Irish girls had red hair. Most are blonde. What the hell happened?

Reached Heathrow.

Hit major turbulence near Greenland. Not the first time. You'd think by now they would've highlighted that area in their air maps and write AVOID in big black ink. Yeah, you'd think.

Security padded down almost everyone in Heathrow. Not me. A bit disappointed. Of course I would've wanted the female security personnel to do it. They weren't pretty, but they were at least female ...... I hope....

Landed in Ireland late afternoon.

I forgot it was another country. I didn't know Irish was a language. Had no clue what they were talking about even when they did speak English.

I'm in Ireland right now. So I thought I'd share my experiences and thoughts with all my faithfull readers! ........... all four of you!

I've worked with talented people before and on The Batman production it was no different. Except, that I actually liked the people I worked with. Thats why I want to give a big mahalo to these people who've made my time spent on The Batman production one that I enjoyed tremendously and will always remember.

Jeff,
Probably one of the most talented and versatile artist I've come across. I learned a lot from you, I'll tell you what that is once I figure out what that is also. You are the "Scottie Pippen" of our crew. As Scottie made Jordan great, you made the rest of us great in our own way. Yup, I finally saw true genius, but that's probably because I was looking at myself in the mirror!

Jose,
You and I both know, you're the real reason Jeff is so good. The real talent behind the success of The Batman. Believe me, I see through the fog that is the hierarchy of The Batman crew ...... I have no idea what I mean by that ....

Jon,
You've got to be the funniest foo on the crew. Too bad your golf game is not as good as your drawing skills or your sense of humour or your typing speed or ...

John,
My Hawaii brother .... what a disappointment you've been. You have no local accent and you don't speak pidgin - whats up with that! For those of you who don't know, John attended the most expensive and richest high school in Hawaii, Punahou. Where their motto was "You may hate us now, but you'll work for us later!". How's that! Nah, jus kidding cuz! You got too much talent for me to diss you li' dat. And no way you going meet my niece!

Hak,
You're way too talented .... I hate you. BTW, is there anything you don't know about Apple products?

Becky,
My favorite Little Chinese Girl. How can something so small eat so much and not get fat. Thats just not right. I know you eat so much just to get taller, but I have bad news for you: IT DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY! Oh, and thank you for pointing out how big and freakish my feet are every other day. Hey, you know what they say about guys with big feet, huh ........ that's right! They wear big shoes! .....

Craig,
Does anything ever bother you? You get bitten by a spider, the bite gets infected, you get the wrong medication, you could've died and you act like that was "all in a days work". You've got to tell me what you smoke in that room! You, Becky and John get high in there don't you!

Steve,
You're the first guy I know who can be on the elliptical machine and not just talk on your cell phone, but talk for over an hour on it! Chicks don't even do that! You must be proud. Actually its rare that I see you not talking on your phone. I guess you have to use up all those "anytime" minutes.

Byron,
One day I'm gonna find out what's under that hat of yours. I'm really hoping to find that you're really a cyborg!

Brandon,
I have a new appreciation to what you directors do. No wonder the clips I've seen so far looks really good. I now realize what my calling in this industry is, and it is not to become an animation director! Thank you.

Sam,
Sammy, Sammy, Sammy .... I personally want to thank you for all the good times I've had at your expense. No one could ask for better source material! You're one of the main reasons I've started this blog. And yes, I do know you're better than Brandon, you don't have to tell me again and again and again. (BTW I lost your contact info so give me a call and leave a message - thanks!)

Lastly, she's not an artist but she was a big part in making my time very enjoyable - let your imaginations run wild everyone!

Wendy, oh Wendy,
........... I only have two words to say to you .... NICE RACK!


THANKS EVERYONE!

Its another segment of "A FUNNY MOMENT AT WORK" or in this case "MY FIRST CONTACT WITH WHATS HER FACE"

*To keep the anonymity of everyone involved I shall refer to her as: THE INTIMIDATING, YET INTRIGUING ASSOCIATE PRODUCER OF DOOMSDAY AND OTHER FINE SHOWS or "BOBBIE PAGE" for short. And I shall refer to the other person involved as: THE SOMETIMES TALENTED BUT ALWAYS STUDLY/ INTELLECTUAL/ DAREDEVIL/ ATHLETIC/ OPTIMUS PRIME LIKE ARTIST/DESIGNER or "ME" for short.

Mind you that at this time we really didn't know each other, except for a smile once in a while when we're passing each other. Not much of a friendship, unless you're Art Lee. He'd interpret that as a "I want you" on the women's part.

Anyway, It was mid morning and "ME" was walking toward the copy room by the freight elevator while "BOBBIE PAGE" was walking the opposite way ....

ME: "Hey, I like what you did with your hair! Its really nice like that!"

(She had cut her hair shoulder length and added nice subtle highlights)

BOBBIE PAGE: "Thanks! I'm glad you like it!"

Less than 3 minutes had passed when "ME" had finished his copying and was returning to his cubicle to work. That's what I, I mean "ME" does on company time - work. Not fool around on the internet, or go play ping pong, or go to Tower Records and look at the adult magazines, or hang out with Sammy for the most part of the day - NO. He works. And works hard. Anyway, while walking back, "BOBBIE PAGE" was walking towards him again.

ME: "You know what, I change my mind. I don't like your hair that way."

BOBBIE PAGE: "Good thing I don't care what you think!, FU*KER!" (Okay, she really didn't say that last word, but I KNOW she was thinking it!)

And all this without breaking our stride in both instances.

So that's been another segment of "A FUNNY MOMENT AT WORK" or in this case "THE REAL REASON I WASN'T CHOSEN TO BE ON DOOMSDAY"

I watched THE HILLS HAVE EYES this weekend. Its about some poor white family getting terrorized by mutated humans in the New Mexico desert.

Yeah its a love story.

That is if you love crappy horror-slasher movies. Look I had a rental coupon for $1.99 for any movie, and since BENCHWARMERS was rented, I brilliantly picked this one.

I thought if you lived in a radiation abundant area, you'd, well, die. Not these folks. Apparently radiation makes you a cannibal. It makes you resistant to gunshot wounds - even to the throat. And it gives you super strength, of course. All this for these people anyway. One guy looked like that deformed person in the Goonies and I'm not talking about the bad guy's mom. For most of us, we would lose our hair, have burns all over our body and have uncontrollable projectile vomiting..... none of these seem like powers to me. There is a wide gap between whats new mutant powers and ............symptoms.

But, in all fairness to these folks being cannibals, there were no grocery stores nearby and there are no animals around because of that radiation thing, so the only abundant food source are unsuspecting tourists. Unsuspecting white tourist!

I wondered, instead of this poor family, what if people from my work place were put in this situation. Lets see .... what if it were, me, Wendy, Sammy (again trying to keep his anonymity), Lauren, Brandon and lets say ........that tiny cleaning lady that doesn't speak a lick of English. Okay, we're in the middle of the New Mexico desert, our vehicle doesn't work and we're miles from any gas station. Also, we don't know where we are because we let that cleaning lady drive because she's used to being in a van.

Anyway, Sammy would die first. He'd try to run but those lungs aren't cooperating that much because of all that nicotine its lined with. So he wouldn't get far and he'd be easy pickings for those mutants. But they wouldn't eat him right away, they'd probably store him somewhere for a special occasion. For these folks, you only eat Chinese if its a birthday or some anniversary.

Brandon would die next. He'd try to run to. He'd get farther but then he'd pull a muscle, or get a cramp because of the desert heat then the mutants would have him. He'd be more of an appetizer because there's not much meat on him.

Lauren wouldn't die at first. She'd be the one who brings the mutants to us because she's the noisiest. But they wouldn't kill her. That big mutant in the movie would keep her as a pet. Something he could hold, and pet, and call it "George". Something like that. But they'd eventually kill her because they couldn't grasp the concept of "sarcasm" ............. and they'd realize she wasn't that porn star ...........

Wendy would die. But at least she'd take most of them with her. All the while she'd be screaming "You killed my Sammy! - You bastards" .....................
......... yeah, it could happen that way .........

The tiny cleaning lady would eventually die because I'd throw her to the last mutant. Since he'd been f'd up by Wendy, he's gonna need nourishment and while he's chowing on her, I'd bash him over the head with a rock ... or two ... or several.

Yup, I'd be the only one to survive because I'm from Hawaii. One thing Hawaii people know how to do is survive ........... in the desert .....................
......... whatever .......

In conclusion go see TALLADEGA NIGHTS THE BALLAD OF RICKY BOBBY.

I call this piece Batman drawn with my left foot!

Awesome,huh. Its almost as good as if I'd drawn it with my right foot!

Anyway go to my artist links on the right for some real artist .... other than myself of course.

It has come to my attention that I have "wronged" one of the brilliant directors of animation. One who has established her place in the Pantheon of animation director gods. Gods like Vietti, Youngberg, Lukic, and Liu. Next to them will be the newest immortal (and in my book the most talented!) - Montgomery.

(Sam stop laughing!)

To this celestial being I offer my official apology below and a promise that this mistake on my part will never ever happen again.

(BTW just replace the word Jewish/Semite/Semitic with Lauren and change any plural reference to a singular one.)


"There is no excuse, nor should there be any tolerance, for anyone who thinks or expresses any kind of anti-Semitic remark.

I want to apologies specifically to everyone in the Jewish community for the vitriolic and harmful words that I said to a law enforcement officer the night I was arrested on a DUE (driving under the influence) charge.

I am a public person, and when I say something, either articulated and thought out, or blurted out in a moment of insanity, my words carry weight in the public arena.

As a result, I must assume personal responsibility for my words and apologies directly to those who have been hurt and offended by those words.

The tenets of what I profess to believe necessitate that I exercise charity and tolerance as a way of life.

Every human being is God's child, and if I wish to honour my God I have to honour his children. But please know from my heart that I am not an anti-Semite. I am not a bigot. Hatred of any kind goes against my faith.

I'm not just asking for forgiveness.

I would like to take it one step further, and meet with leaders in the Jewish community, with whom I can have a one-on-one discussion to discern the appropriate path for healing.

I have begun an ongoing programme of recovery and what I am now realising is that I cannot do it alone.

I am in the process of understanding where those vicious words came from during that drunken display, and I am asking the Jewish community, whom I have personally offended, to help me on my journey through recovery.

Again, I am reaching out to the Jewish community for its help. I know there will be many in that community who will want nothing to do with me, and that would be understandable.

But I pray that that door is not forever closed.

This is not about a film. Nor is it about artistic licence. This is about real life and recognising the consequences hurtful words can have.

It's about existing in harmony in a world that seems to have gone mad."

.....I think that about sums it up!

Its time again for another segment of "SAMMY LIU NEWS"!

This time I got a chance to "interview" Sammy ........well corner him was more what it was. Interview him with 10 questions (by the way his name isn't Sammy, I just use it to keep his anonymity. He's a very private person, yeah.)

First question:
BRANDON VIETTI.... OVERRATED?

Sammy:
Very overrated. Winning an Emmy has gone to his head. He only hired me as a storyboard artist to keep me down........ and he's white. If given the opportunity to screw him over I would! - okay Sammy really didn't say that last line. I did, to create a bit of conflict..... its good drama!

Second Question:
IF YOU WERE A STORYBOARD, WHAT ACT WOULD YOU BE?

Sammy:
I would be Act C because I'm exciting and I'm a finisher!

Third Question:
IN A FIGHT BETWEEN YOU AND WENDY, HOW F'D UP WOULD YOU BE?

Sammy:
Pretty f'd up. I'd just be a smear on the wall. You can't stop a Sasquatch! ..... okay I added that last line again to create a bit of conflict ...... but Sammy agreed with me!

Fourth Question:
LAUREN MONTGOMERY - YOUR THOUGHTS ABOUT HER?

Sammy:
A rapid fire mouth! She's like a machine gun of punkishness! Unlike Wendy who's more of a cannon! -That is one of Sammy's strength, to create nonsense phrases like that...brilliance at its best....

Fifth Question:
WORLD WAR OR .... WORLD WILDLIFE FOUNDATION?

Sammy:
What kind of question is that? I guess World Wildlife Foundation because we have a lot to atone for. -He's relating to a childhood incident that I'll tell you about in another post. Oh, its sick and tragic! Yeah, its good!

Sixth Question:
3 THINGS YOU'D CHANGE ABOUT YOURSELF?

Sammy:
Not to get picked on so much ... (it was then that I mentioned things about yourself you'd change, not "things that continuously happen to you because you'd rather go window shopping for a summer dress and bonnet than opening up that pie hole and making just a little noise", that you'd change. Okay maybe those weren't my exact words, but close to it.)

Sammy: I guess to be more assertive, and to be able to fight. Thats it. (I asked for three but he couldn't think of anymore, so I suggested if there were any cosmetic improvements he'd like done, but he said that's gay. -Sammy, no offense, but maybe its time you start being "gay".)

Seventh Question:
ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS - SEND THEM BACK IF CAUGHT OR ..... KEEP THEM AS PETS.

Sammy:
Send them back. They make bad pets because they're human and I'm a humanitarian. -yeah, and I just won the Lotto .....

Eighth Question:
ARE YOU ANTI SEMITIC?

Sammy:
What does that have to do with anything? (So I told him to answer the question. Its a simple yes or no question! I put that in just to keep him on his toes. A good interviewer does that, yeah)

Sammy:Okay, no.

Ninth Question:
I'M GOING TO READ YOU 5 THINGS AND YOU TELL ME IF ITS FACT OR FICTION.

GLOBAL WARMING
Sammy: Fact.
FAT PEOPLE
Sammy: Fact. I've seen them.
CLOWNS
Sammy: Fact.
SASQUATCH
Sammy: Fact. In fact, I just saw Wendy.
BRANDON VIETTI
Sammy: Fact, but his hype is fiction!

Last Question:
I'LL GIVE YOU THREE NAMES. YOU TELL ME IF YOU'D SCREW, MARRY OR KILL THEM. EACH ONE HAS TO OCCUPY ONE OF THE THREE. NO DOUBLING UP AND NO EXCLUSIONS.

It was then that Sammy seemed ready for the question. It almost looked like he was psyching himself up. Like he was ready to eat cake or something like that.

THE THREE NAMES ARE: LAUREN, WENDY, AND BOBBIE PAGE.

Sammy:
Okay thats it. This "interview" is over!

I asked him off the record what his choices would be, but he said I'd post the "off the record" choices, which I would. It was then that he walked away.

Well, I hope this "interview" gave you a better understanding of Sammy Liu. It sure didn't for me. I'll just keep believing whatever Wendy has to say about him.

Anyway, thats been another segment of "SAMMY LIU NEWS"